So I experienced another Blatant Boca moment this weekend. On Saturday, I woke up, putzed around la casa for a bit and decided to head over to the beach,
It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the elderly were complaining, it was the sort of day that could make even the most uptight of snowbirds smile.
I picked out my proverbial “spot” to park myself, there was plenty of room to the left and right of my locale for any loud groups which tend to need larger areas for their shenanigans, so I felt I was fully protected against noise and any frisbees mishaps that may occur. I proceed to unload my goods, baste myself with oil and recline in my new lounger, life is good. I am just beginning to enjoy the cancer-causing rays, when suddenly a group of about 30 people start walking to the shoreline.
I feel myself becoming annoyed; the madding crowd is fully dressed and louder than a runaway train. There are some toddlers running in and out of the water, a few stragglers talking loudly on their cell phones (there is no other way in Boca) and everyone who was previously relaxing seaside, is currently wondering what the heck is going on… Just then I see them, 2 priests amongst the chaos, it dawns on me that what I am about to become witness to a Boca Baptism. My only knowledge of a Baptism comes from a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode, which wasn’t particularly amusing.
My emotions simmer down, I am not religious, but I do respect and try to understand the views of those who are bible thumpers. Suddenly it hits me, this is not your average baptism. There are tots running and screaming, there are about 10 people talking way too loud on their phones and discussing their plans after the blessed event. Cell phones, screaming, is nothing sacred? Can I mention the hooting and hollering that took place during the actual event? It was indeed a Blatant Boca Baptism.
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14 comments:
You are HILARIOUS! I think the font should be bigger (if not changed) - as it is hard to read for a person with 20/20 vision....
too funny! Can't wait to see the next blog!
Nice! You've nailed it so far. Keep it going!
Muy bueno! I'm impressed with how well you transferred the 'Chris humor' that I so love into print. Funny stuff... but I WILL get you for that "biblethumpers" comment! LOL
Hilarious! Keep them coming! I will be sure to alert you to any douchebag moments that I happen to catch! 23 Lexi (?) today and counting... :)
The font is better - bigger is better...that goes for many different subjects!
Speaking of Douche bags here is direct quote from one as they cut me off when they were trying to get into the Fresh Market. “If driving a coal powered Hummer while drinking my extra grande vente, vidi, vici low fat mocha extra skim soy late with a double shot of asshole and only fill it ¾ of the way up so when I make left hand turns from the right lane I don’t spill it on my baby seal skin seats all while I’m driving in the HOV lane and texting my secretary with pics of myself that I took while driving. If that makes me a douche bag then come on over...
Matt
I happen to "heart" Fresh Market!
Pretty funny stuff. I moved to Boca from the southwest 5 years ago and I can not wait to get out of here! Everything you have said is true and much more. I long for normal people!
you're a rip!!! i can't wait to see more...oh and go to the boca dog park...you'll see all kinds of stuff there!!!
Dog Park... okay duly noted.
Love your blog! I moved out of Boca becuase I couldn't take the Steppford wifes syndrome.
Why don't you feature an article on the new Boca library, or the Boca 'babes' constantly on their cell phones while driving their H2s or H3s, or the Boca Botox Babes that all look like they have had their faces stretched behind their ears like Joan Rivers ?
What do you expect, have of these fucks are New Yorkers who grew up in a world of shit. Fuck em.
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